Its a Joke

[yote]

You might be a redneck if a fishing trip requries a fresh battery and an explosives tag on your boat.

[JellyMan]

feed a man a fish you fed him for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

[Bifferwine]

How could we allow this great thread to die? Quick! Someone post a joke!

Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?

A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that "no means no"?

Okay I just copied and pasted that one.

Here's one for Jelly :

On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks, "Can I come up for a cup of coffee?" The girl replies, "Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Well, what about the last date?"

[bobby]

This is the best chicken joke ever.
There was a chicken and a horse, they were very good friends and did alot together. Well one day the horse yells for the chickens help, when the chicken get there he finds the horse stuck and frantic in a big ditch that he can not get out of. The chicken asks what do you want me to do. The horse says run to the house and get the farmer to come help me out. The chicken runs back home but the farmer is gone to town, so thinking as fast as he could the chicken grabs the keys to the farmers brand new BMW and drive back to the ditch. When he gets there he ties a rope on the back of the car and tells the horse to bite on to it and he'll pull him out, so the horse bites on and the chicken pulls him out. After that day they were bonded and friends for life the horse was constantly looking out for the chicken. Well one day the horse hears the chicken screaming and runs over to see whats going on. When he gets there the chicken is starting to drown in a very big puddle and yells to the horse to find a stick and pull him out. The horse looks around and cant find anything , so thinking as fast as he can he squats over the puddle and says to the chicken to bite onto his penis and he'll pull the chicken out, so the chicken does and is saved.

So do you know the moral of the story?????????????????????????????????????





















If your hung like a horse you dont need a BMW to pick up chicks. LOL

[yote]

LMAO,,,that was good Bobby



This guy that lived out in the mountains of east Tennessee got married one fine April morning.After the reception he and his new bride headed off on their honey moon in the big city.( keep in mind that this in the old horse and buggy days)
About a mile down the road the mans mule that was pulling the wagon decided to get sturban and stop.
The man told mule " thats once ,now go on" So the mule went on a little bit futher and stopped again. The mans tells the mule " thats twice now go on" Well,they went a couple of more miles and the mule stopped again.The man tells the mule " that 3 times,there wont be a 4th" so the mule went on . After another mile or so the mule stopped again,so with out saying a single word the man climbs off the wagon,takes his pistol out and shoots the mule hammer dead.
Well upon seeing all this his new bride looks at the man with a mean hateful look and says now why did you do that,now we have to walk the rest of the way to the city for our honey moon.
The man waited untill his bride finished with her serman,then looks at her and say " thats once"

[Bifferwine]

You might be a redneck if:

- you've taken a pregnancy test and a sobriety test on the same day.
- you eat cotton candy more than three times a week.
- the only thing you inherited from your father was alcoholism.
- you think a "home security system" means taking the front steps to your trailer with you when you leave the house.
- you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.
- the first time you danced with your wife it cost you $20.
- you've ever heated a cup of coffee with a welding torch (Yote's HAD to have done this!).

[yote]

lol,,,,shoot Biff,,,Ive actually heated my lunch with a torch,several times.Just punch a few holes in the top of a can of pork and beans and lay it up on the exhaust manifold of the welder.

[JellyMan]

Originally Posted by Bifferwine

How could we allow this great thread to die? Quick! Someone post a joke!

Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?

A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that "no means no"?

Okay I just copied and pasted that one.

Here's one for Jelly :

On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks, "Can I come up for a cup of coffee?" The girl replies, "Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Well, what about the last date?"

thats awesome

[JellyMan]

Cat crossing the rail road tracks, a train out of no where catches a portion of the cats tail, the cat spins around and the next set of wheels takes the cats head, moral of the story.......... Dont loose your head over a piece of tale!

[donnyholland]

A 911 call goes in for a women in labor, which notifies greg (EMS driver). He imediately heads to the house to find a young boy (Billy) waiting for him at the front door. Billy motions the man and points to his mom on the living room couch. Greg quickly examines her and determines that there's just not enough time to get her to the hospital, she's completely dialated.

So thinking fast he says, Billy would you like to help me? Billy just kinda nods so Greg hands him his flash light and says ok I want you to point this right here at your mommy and don't move so I can see. Billy does what he's asked and Greg gets to work.

After about 15 min of this the baby finally pops out and its a baby boy. Greg grabs the baby by the legs and smacks him on the bottom, at which point the baby starts crying. Greg looks down at Billy just as the baby starts crying and says, so what do you think of all this? Billy looks at the baby then looks at his mommy and then at Greg and says,

" I think you should slap him again! He shoulda never crawled up in there in the first place!"



/d