Im about to give up

I really can't fathom how you can have a tank that size with various corals/fish and not have a refractometer to test your salinity or a test kit for phosphates.

Nevertheless, I'm not here to be a d*ck, but to help, so really, you should be looking into purchasing a Refractometer as soon as possible. It's not good enough for a LFS to say levels 'are good'. When you're topping up, doing water changes and so on, you should consistently be measuring your waters salinity. For all you know, you could be causing huge salinity swings.

And as you don't have anything to test phosphate, I'm guessing you don't have a kit to test other levels, so if not, please invest in an API Reef kit. Also, if you get the LFS to test for ammonia/nitrite/nitrates, please get an API kit for that as well. Just yesterday, I saw my LFS store measuring someone's water with no clue of how to properly test and I guarantee they gave the person some inaccurate results.
 
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