Bifferwine
I am a girl
It's more of the second option. People here think I'm too mean.
Can you believe it?!?! ;)
Injured Fish
- Thread starter baiblue
- Start date
It's more of the second option. People here think I'm too mean.
Can you believe it?!?! ;)
dustin_P74
Reef enthusiast
we do?
Bifferwine
I am a girl
Apparently.
dcantucson
Reef pro
I have to disagree! Maybe passionate, but not mean.
yea you shook me with the first word in your first response to the thread "Damn!"
:mrgreen:
yote
In Memoriam
MAN,Shes got the wool puled over y'alls eyes.
Cross Biff once and you got a bad case of cyano.Cross her twice and the tank explodes:mrgreen:
Cross Biff once and you got a bad case of cyano.Cross her twice and the tank explodes:mrgreen:
Altohombre
The Tennis Pro Reefer
I just started reading this thread without knowing that this was the "RyanG" thread and although I was shocked at seeing 25 fish and then notice he has a 70g tank I was a little disappointed on how much people jumped on this user. The picture is pretty brutal and for all of us fish lovers we see it as torture, but the user wouldn't be on a fish forum or ask for help if he wasn't interested in learning more about why it happened and figure out ways to correct the problem. I remember when I initially got into fish keeping I figured I could have tons of fish and may have done a similar thing if it wasn't for the fact that I had to wait to get my tank for Christmas and the long wait caused me to do research every night.
dcantucson
Reef pro
Ditto!
daugherty
part time reefer
cthegame
Reef enthusiast
Personally i dont think there was much jumping on the user. He got the advice he needed...why is everyone so sensitive lately?
wontonflip
I failed Kobayashi Maru
I thought maybe you pissed her off royally because of all the mantis in your tank :P
Pretty rough on the noob, guys.....at least you came back and took it like a true reefer, Bai! Good job! You're on your way back to the good side now by following advice :)
Bifferwine
I am a girl
That's the thing... I read back through the thread, and no one seemed to be personally attacking the OP, and no one seemed to be rude or mean. I really don't get why everyone is insisting on putting on their kid gloves lately. It's kind of annoying.
I would dislike someone talking to me in a disingenuous way more than I would dislike someone talking to me in a blunt way.
dcantucson
Reef pro
Maybe some Guidelines should be established? ... Where one of the more experienced members takes over the advice and posts until the situation is handled. I think what scares people the most is the rapid fire of comments as everyone is trying to help. It seems to be counter productive to have 10 posters telling you that you've fuc*ed up, and your fish are going to die. The posts should always be directed towards the action more, and less towards the newbie them self as well.
RyanG
Reef enthusiast
Why you cant tell someone they have made a mistake without being a dickhead about it. Explaining something tactfully seems to sink in with me at least than hearing what an idiot you are and that your take on the hobby is shit and everything you have is going to die without giving any reason. Those are the posts I have a problem with.
Kid gloves off, but that doesnt mean that we have to be rude about our explainations.
Kid gloves off, but that doesnt mean that we have to be rude about our explainations.
cthegame
Reef enthusiast
I agree with you ryan but there isnt much that can be done if someone is rude. We're not going to be able to teach someone manners on here (its their parent;s job) and obviously anyone who is just a jerk is really hurting their own reputation (if reputation even has any meaning here).
RyanG
Reef enthusiast
Agreed. I think reputation means a ton here, and everywhere else in life.
dcantucson
Reef pro
The problem with reputation is, to a newbie non existent. They just see a lot of people coming down on them and frankly it can be a little daunting. They at this point don't know any of us or what "reputation" we have or don't have. I think most newbies come on here for advice, they want help! But I also think too much is thrown at them at once and they retreat and don't come back.
Altohombre
The Tennis Pro Reefer
upon a second reading I overstated that there was a lot of harshness when there really wasn't as much as I initially thought. This is one thing about the internet which makes it difficult. You can read something one way and another time can read into it another way. The only real thing I saw on my second viewing that was harsh was daugherty's quote and it caught me off guard because I know daugherty is a helpful user who has been around for a while.
I think this thread was good to get us back on track as the best fish forum on the net.
parrotchute
DUSTOFF MEDEVAC
Well, to be honest, I could care less if I hurt someone's feelings with my personal shock of what they are doing to their tank by not researching. HOWEVER, if we scare them off by instantly going on the offensive, I suppose it's somewhat counter-productive. I don't think anyone was overly rude or flamed him - most people gave him credit for at least asking, which is more than a lot of people out there probably did.
Give him a spanking, and then help him!
parrotchute
DUSTOFF MEDEVAC
I also think a lot of venting goes on when people see someone f**ing up a hobby that you care dearly about. I know I get really annoyed when these two guys at work tell me about how "their tang is perfectly fine in their 30 gal with the baby shark in it" or that they "don't do water changes"....
When you personally care to do a lot of research and take some pride in it all, it kind of hits you personally when you see someone callous to the "right" way of doing it all.
When you personally care to do a lot of research and take some pride in it all, it kind of hits you personally when you see someone callous to the "right" way of doing it all.
