Rules for Real Men

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by sen5241b, Nov 20, 2009.

  1. sen5241b

    sen5241b

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    5,029
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Arlington VA
    Rule #1 No man shall ever use the excuse "because my wife won't let me."

    Rule#2 No man shall refuse a beer because he doesn't "feel well."

    Rule #3 No man shall look another man in the eye while he is eating a banana.

    Rule #4 No man shall talk politics after more than four beers.

    help me here
     
    sen5241b, Nov 20, 2009
    #1
    1. Advertisements

  2. sen5241b

    project5k

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,466
    Likes Received:
    154
    Location:
    Seguin Tx
    #1 is wrong cause any real man knows that its his wife that gives him the ability to do so many things that he shouldnt think that she is ever "not letting" him...and its not the wife thats not letting him, he is choosing to listen to her, therefore its his decision to not do it...

    #2 is wrong, there are men that just dont like beer, feeling well or not.

    #3 is wrong cause if your not man enough to eat fruit, then your just a P***Y(this also works with a real man CAN wear pink, cause he's secure enough in his own manhood to not be threatened by it)

    #4 is wrong, the "after" should be "before" cause youve at least gotta have a buz before that stuff even starts to make sence, well, that and i'd have to be drunk before i'd believe the lies that they tell....

    NEXT!
    :mrgreen:
     
    project5k, Nov 20, 2009
    #2
    1. Advertisements

  3. sen5241b

    sen5241b

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    5,029
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Arlington VA

    project5k, you are starting to sound wimpish

    with #1 you are rationalizing use of that excuse
    with #2 that is an oxymoron "men who don't like beer"? please.
    with #3 Think about this. You have big long banana in your mouth and look into another man's eyes. No offense to anyone else but that just doesn't sit right with me.
    with #4 I kinda of agree with you on that one.
     
    sen5241b, Nov 20, 2009
    #3
  4. sen5241b

    project5k

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,466
    Likes Received:
    154
    Location:
    Seguin Tx
    but it is his decision to listen to her, so its not her thats not letting him, its him that is choosing to listen to her and not do it, its not a ratioinalization, its the reality of it...

    yea, like me, i dont like beer, i think it tastes like skunk piss(well corona anyway) now, whiskey, vodka, hard liquor, count me in, and infact, most times, i'd even go shot for shot with most people... i can drink when i wanna, my personal $110 bar tabs dont lie....do the math, $5 per shot, 22 shots, and i have witnesses... and i walked out upright, hit on the "door greeter" got smacked on the back of the head by the wife, and then got in the car(passenger seat) and went home...

    the only reason that having a bananna in your mouth should make you "sexually uncomfortable" is if you've had the real thing in your mouth, and your having flashbacks...

    Kinda figured you would.

    :mrgreen:
     
    project5k, Nov 20, 2009
    #4
  5. sen5241b

    sen5241b

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    5,029
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Arlington VA
    Haha. I admit I plagiarized rule 3 from Rules for men, man up and act like you got a pair!

    But the others are mine and I stand by'em!
    C'mon! "my wife won't let me"?
    Rule #38b Beer may be exempted from other rules by use of hard liquor.
     
    sen5241b, Nov 20, 2009
    #5
  6. sen5241b

    project5k

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,466
    Likes Received:
    154
    Location:
    Seguin Tx
    yea thats some funny stuff... hehehee
     
    project5k, Nov 20, 2009
    #6
  7. sen5241b

    d2mini VIP Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2008
    Messages:
    7,630
    Likes Received:
    979
    Location:
    Houston
    love #3! :lol:
     
    d2mini, Nov 20, 2009
    #7
  8. sen5241b

    yote Ceritfied Mantis Hunter Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    26,996
    Likes Received:
    3,868
    Location:
    Ringgold,Ga
    I think Sen and Project just caused my to bust a rib from laughing to freakin hard:rofl:
     
    yote, Nov 20, 2009
    #8
  9. sen5241b

    project5k

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,466
    Likes Received:
    154
    Location:
    Seguin Tx
    hehehe glad i could entertain, and for my next act.....
     
    project5k, Nov 20, 2009
    #9
  10. sen5241b

    SeaBee Ha Ha Thats Funny!

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    2,107
    Likes Received:
    189
    :sfish:I take it Sen is not married, likes beer, eats bananas around other men, and can handle more than four beers....
     
    SeaBee, Nov 20, 2009
    #10
  11. sen5241b

    project5k

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,466
    Likes Received:
    154
    Location:
    Seguin Tx
    i think you should re-read it,
     
    project5k, Nov 20, 2009
    #11
  12. sen5241b

    AdeptMrSniffles I have a Blue Thumb

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2009
    Messages:
    2,056
    Likes Received:
    240
    Location:
    Orlando, Fl
    How about:

    1. Real men should be able to drive a stick shift, WITHOUT stalling.
    2. Real men should be able to peel out and still make it "look cool"
    3. Real men should be able to use ANY tool you put in his hand!
     
    AdeptMrSniffles, Nov 20, 2009
    #12
  13. sen5241b

    matthew1048 Wurd to ya motha

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Memphis, TN USA
    #1: Your wife has you on a shock collar and is making you type that. Quit bullshittin and take the pain. That's just blasphemy.

    #3: Johnny Cash never wore fricking pink. That's enough to debunk your logic there. Everyone knows pink is for teenagers and metrosexuals...either way it's gay.

    Additional rules:

    #5: A real man can navigate across the country with a MAP without stopping for directions at any point in time. No GPS, no Google Earth on your cell....just a good old fashioned MAP.

    #6: .....can take a shot of Jack straight up with making "the face". If you can't, chances are you're wearing a pink fricking shirt.

    #7: .....freeballs.

    #8: .....orders his meat medium-rare.

    #9: .....mows his own yard...at 7:00 am Saturday morning...after changing the oil in the car and detailing it.

    #10: ....never kicks another dude in the jewels in a fight. (insert dude-wearing-pink-shirt joke here if he does)

    #11: ...kills the guy who brings a camera to a bachelor party...and encases him in concrete...and dumps him in the bay.
     
    matthew1048, Nov 22, 2009
    #13
  14. sen5241b

    matthew1048 Wurd to ya motha

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Memphis, TN USA
    #12: ....has never sat through the first 5 minutes of Grey's Anatomy, Mercy, Private Practice, or any other soap opera disguised as a prime time drama without saying "Yup, **** this. I'm going upstairs to watch (insert any ball game or show on Discovery, or History Channel). It doesn't matter if you're lady "wants to spend time with you". It's a ploy to get you to watch the bullshit show. If she really wanted to, she'd offer to watch MythBusters with you. Now, man up. You're smart enough to not fall for it. Now go eat some Doritios.
     
    matthew1048, Nov 22, 2009
    #14
  15. sen5241b

    sen5241b

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    5,029
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    Arlington VA
    Rule #7 The only pink things a man can like are lady parts and the inside of a steak.
     
    sen5241b, Nov 22, 2009
    #15
  16. sen5241b

    matthew1048 Wurd to ya motha

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Memphis, TN USA
    LMAO!!!!! :beerchug:
     
    matthew1048, Nov 22, 2009
    #16
  17. sen5241b

    Bifferwine I am a girl

    Joined:
    May 13, 2006
    Messages:
    46,915
    Likes Received:
    5,888
    Location:
    Lynnwood, WA and missing Tucson, AZ
    Real men get the biggest, baddest Dremel kit w/ any accessories you could ever dream of for an anniversary present from their lady and say, "Awesome! Now I can install the cat door in the spare bedroom tonight!" ;)
     
    Bifferwine, Nov 22, 2009
    #17
  18. sen5241b

    bjohanson1234 .........

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2006
    Messages:
    10,998
    Likes Received:
    1,102
    Location:
    Palos Heights, IL
    Hope you got NDB the corded one. I made the mistake and bought the battery powered one and the thing seems weaker than a dentist drill:grumble:
     
    bjohanson1234, Nov 22, 2009
    #18
  19. sen5241b

    Bifferwine I am a girl

    Joined:
    May 13, 2006
    Messages:
    46,915
    Likes Received:
    5,888
    Location:
    Lynnwood, WA and missing Tucson, AZ
    Yep, cord. The sales guy warned me that the battery powered one eats through batteries like crazy, and that I would end up spending a ton on batteries.
     
    Bifferwine, Nov 22, 2009
    #19
  20. sen5241b

    dcantucson

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2009
    Messages:
    20,917
    Likes Received:
    1,898
    Sorry still trying to figure what the hell this thread is about. :shock:
    Are you peeps trying to figure out whether you're real men or not?
    I would say REAL MEN DON'T FOLLOW RULES.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2009
    dcantucson, Nov 22, 2009
    #20
    1. Advertisements

Ask a Question

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

You'll need to choose a username for the site, which only take a couple of moments (here). After that, you can post your question and our members will help you out.